Am I Old?

So how do you know if you are old or not?

Is it when you have a season ticket to the doctors as different bits go wrong or fall off each week?

Is it when a late night is 11pm and you pay the price for the next few days even though you didn't drink?

Is it when your jeans are no longer the comfiest items of clothing in your wardrobe?

Is it when you suddenly realise all the clothes you have bought in the last few months were from Marks and Spencers and not other younger high street brands?

Is it when you become horrified that the trousers you bought from M & S have elasticated waists?

Or is it when you realise you have tried to make a cup of tea in a glass sugar pot and the hot water has broken it?

Or what about when the bread won't fit in the fridge and milk doesn't belong in the oven?

Does it take just one of these to make you old? What if you can relate to 5 or more? What does that make me? Will organising a birthday party with some retro twists really make me feel young and back in the 80's again? Unlikely.

Please no. I'm not ready for knitting, tartan slippers, hot water bottles and horlicks.

Not yet anyway.