On Mathematicians...

My husband works for a bus company compiling timetables and schedules in London. It is a very maths based department involving long formulae and calculations, although not degree level, as well as general arithmetic. His office of 9 people is an all male environment. It is a very intriguing mix of personalities.
There is the boss. He is a womaniser and constantly telling stories of the times he had whilst on the bus stands at the end of routes in his driving days. Jail bait and Two-bagger are frequently mentioned.
The deputy lives miles away and leaves home at 4am to catch the train to the office for about 6am. Why? So he can leave at 3pm and be home by 4ish.
Then there is Mr Negative, The Silent Terrorist,  Thingy the MCP, Mr Smelly 1 and Mr Smelly 2, The Manic Depressive and 1930's Geek. They all have one thing in common. They are weird in their own sweet way and all use maths in their work daily.

I've been studying Maths courses with Open University for the last 6 years and met some incredible people. Some students and some lecturers. OK, so it is Maths and whenever anyone asks what I'm studying their faces contort into poses that would challenge any gurning champion. Yet if they met some of the people I have shared rooms with at tutorials then they would be picking their jaw up from the floor. They are either smelly with hair that hasn't ever been washed and their laptop intravenously attached to their chest, or the women in the trousers that are too short and traditional maths teacher jumpers. There are the people who sit, listen and go home, seeming quite normal. Then there are the ones who query everything the lecturer says and delay us from completing the work we should in the time allocated.
If I take anything from any of the 11 courses I'll study for my degree it will be a comment made by one of my lecturers that had absolutely nothing to do with our course.

"All mathematicians feature on the autistic spectrum disorder."
This is so true. I've achieved  distinctions in all my level 2 courses and distinctions/grade 2 in my level 3 courses so far. And yes I am including myself in this group. Mathematicians cannot socialise. They prefer their own company. They are perfectionists, as maths is either right or wrong and in life mathematicians have to be right or they aren't satisfied. I have seen enough people involved in maths to wholeheartedly believe this.

So beware, look at dating a mathematician and you know what you're going to get!

DOC

On making friends 2...

Oh no. You are 18 and leave school. Some of your friends go to university in a remote part of the country. Some go off to work. As decisive as ever, I head off to college in London and stay living at home. But what does this mean. Yet again I have no friends with me. I have to start all over again.

As I travel to London on the train on the first day, panic sets in. Where am I going? Who will be there? What will they be like? I arrive at the college and find my way to a room filled with lots of new faces to take in. They're all chatting away as if they have known each other for years. Maybe they have. I find a seat. A group of girls start talking to me immediately. Was I comfortable with this? Probably not. I wasn't ready for that kind of interaction. As a lecturer comes in, the room settles as he explains what the day entails.After a very long hour, I head off to pay my grant to the admin team. I am alone again. Lost in a sea of unusual people and strange surroundings.

It is lunchtime and the group of girls from earlier are heading out to explore Leicester Square and what it has to offer. I tag along, feeling uneasy and an outsider. They are all chatting about where they come from and what they want to do. I answer direct questions and listen. That's what I'm good at. I watch people and listen to things around me.

The afternoon brings more of the same. Finding out timetables and where rooms are. Now this I can handle. Sitting in silence and listening. However, my life will change again during this afternoon. My course has been changed and I'm now only doing part of what I want to do. Part has been cut. What do I do? I make a quick exit after we finish to avoid having to talk to the others. I make my way home pondering my options.

Decision made. The next day I go back to college and quit. Was it the easy option? Was it just the change in course that made me give up my college opportunity? Or was it just too daunting to make new friends again? I start looking for work. I had worked in Woolworths at weekends for nearly 4 years and got extra shifts to get myself money. But I needed full time work. This meant applications, interviews, meeting new people and interacting with them.

I hadn't changed since school. Making friends hadn't got easier over those few years. How long will it take until this simple process becomes second nature? Should I have a label? Would I feature somewhere on the autistic spectrum if tested now or back then? Would it have helped me? Who knows?

BASHFUL